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3. There is Nothing Missing

Have you ever thought about the principle of “nothing is missing”, or, put differently “everything is here”.  Every situation that triggers a certain emotion, whether good or bad, holds the total opposite emotion as well, if you are willing to look for it.

If you’ve ever flipped a coin, you will choose heads or tails, if you have to flip the coin a few times, and to win you only want to see heads, you are ultimately refusing to accept that the coin could land tails down, and you experience the feelings of disappointment, amazing, why do we have this unrealistic expectation of only wanting the coin to land heads up when we know that both sides are present. Is possible to see that neither one is “good” or “bad”.  Look at the words used associated with the coin; “heads up – tails down”.  Depending on your personal circumstance will you PERCEIVE one to be good, and the other one to be bad. More often than not we will only want to see the one side.

To give you an example: if you are insecure about health there must, by nature, also be a part in you that is totally secure, perhaps about your finances.  If there is an area of your life where you are angry, there are other areas in your life where you are totally happy. Another example: in every event that you consider negative, there is something positive or beneficial as well. The situation ‘IS’ of benefit somewhere, because where there is one side, there is a flip side!

So ask yourself could if this holds true for things in life, could we look at our perceptions of this yo yo life of ours in a more balanced way, this may well sound somewhat offensive , it is in no way meant to be.  When you stop and think about the literal pain and suffering some go through when losing a loved one to death or divorce, suddenly losing your job after many years of service, losing a limb or coping with a debilitating illness, trying to survive in a war torn country where the thought of peace and security appears to be a forgotten dream.  Of course this is a simplified version of what is being said here, and to my mind, it holds great truths. The event of my father leaving the family home when I was a very young 18 years old for instance, had very negative sides to it. If, on the other hand, I check how my life has evolved after that event, I see a lot of “good stuff” too.

It is all in our perception that we judge events and people “good” or “bad”. If we focus on just one side of the coin, it will give us a lopsided perception, and “nature” will balance that one out, one day! Why not do it yourself, and have love and appreciation for the event, situation or person in question. Saying “thanks” to everything and everyone that played or plays a part in your life (yes, everyone and everything!) will allow for more events, situations and people to be grateful for, which is absolutely worthwhile.


Firstly: Find out in your life where you have a lopsided perception regarding a person or event. Anything you feel overly positive or overly negative about will give a good indication.

Secondly:  With the “bad stuff”, see how it has benefited you.  How has it taught you a valuable lesson you still use today? With the good stuff, see what drawbacks there are to what you consider “good”. If you don’t find them yourself, life is going to show them to you anyway!

Thirdly:   Realise that there is always balance in what you experience. This is one of the Universal Laws: “everything is”, neither good or bad. It just “is”.

Lastly: Be grateful and appreciative for the lessons taught, and experiences that came from it. The more you can do that consciously, the more you will find that life always flows according to its purpose, even when we think it doesn’t. Trust me, I could tell you stuff from my own experiences that there is more that I am able to see.   Arrogance is thinking that I know it all! AND I DON’T!!!

Once you are able to find balance in everything, life becomes more enjoyable in my experience, very enjoyable, and sometimes quite exciting. You will lose “infatuation” with anything, and will lose “desperation” with other things. You will come to appreciate that life is the way it is, and that it is up to us to make the best of it for ourselves and those around us.   Now that is what I call a balanced flip of the coin and a rewarding journey.

Jasmine Grindlay

Tel:  072 444 8762 – Cell:  021 790 4198

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